Men vs Women - the perennial battle

Now there was this interesting thread of discussions on our company online bulletin board.

It started off with a guy called Priyank Gupta delivering a smashing piece of rhyme, that sparked off quite a few comments - both sexist and non-sexist! :-)

Here goes... (btw, the email thread in question ran from bottom to top, as usual, but for convenience (and commentry's) sake, I've reversed it for good)


The initiator

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.

~Women


The Retort

She wasn’t all that funny
And really too dumb to see
All she wanted was my money
Not what I thought she’d be

She was bad with cooking
And couldn’t even count to three
Messed up, when I wasn’t looking
Not like I thought she’d be

I was looking for a way out
Or to make her smart and clever
But when realized, what women is about
I just got rid of her, ever and FOREVER!!

~Men

======================

To this, the reply was posted thus, by - who else, Yours Truly :-)

The Comment

They don’t agree on matters
Married, they wanna be now free
Point out flaws galore..
They just agree to disagree

She must be like mom, he says
Who cares about my in-laws?
Always oh so demanding
But hardly sees his own flaws…

She threatens to part ways,
At the slightest whim
Can’t live with him,
Can’t live without ‘im!

He is oh so insensitive!
She makes a lot of fuss
Time they realized
Men are from Mars, they from Venus…

And its gotta ppl write on the BB
For great relationship’s sake
Where’s the ideal couple gone?
O Cupid, didya make a mistake?

==========================

Now one Mr. Rohit Dwivedi couldn't resist putting his ideas to good use and came up with this version of slapstick poetry:

The fight has been relentless The brawl hasn’t been nice
Here are few more liners, to put in some more spice
No matter how gracious you get she refrains to break the ice
now when it comes to judgment she wants to throw a dice

Grand have been those men who have fallen for the flue
Grand have been there plummet who have had a few
For behind every success there has been a lady
For behind every failure there have been TWO…………!!!

~Men

Now this gave rise to a huge thread of sarcastic, insulting, funny, light, condescending and witty comments from all and sundry - with both sexes jumping in with their 2 cents on a very hot topic - MEN, & WOMEN!



Finally, our original poet Mr. Priyank Gupta finished it off with another witty one: (kudos to his creativity hah!)

If he is the protocol and he is the packet,
she is the virus, which causes the racket
flowing through streams, he leads graceful life
while she attaches herself; as his so called wife.

if he is the application, which longs to serve
she is the BUG, which has got the nerve
bringing him down crashing when needed most
not only embarrass, but also upset the host

if he is the hardware, and he is a switch
she is his weakness and she is the glitch
not matter how he plays and how he pitch
she gives it all away because she is the hitch

and if he is the one, who invented all these
won't you tell me, what took so long? Please!
Oh! but, it's not even a matter of perspective and view
because whole community of men understand, he was married too!!

And yet, if there is no virus and there was no glitch
and there was no Bug, and there was no hitch.
how will he improve, in his "nevretheless-doomed" life
and that is why lovely people, God made her as a wife!!

[though i am not sure if god is proud of it or not!?? :-) ]


Rohit had 2 more lines to add (probably the pride of having the last word!)

Silent have been thy critic, ………….Silent have been thy foes
when men have said something…….. they run ..but cannot find their toes
~Men

Still he was not finished - and rounded this up with:

They keep on quoting something
They keep on staying hushed
They don’t know where they are going
They aren’t even blushed…
~Men

Mangal Mangal !!

So we decided to watch Mangal Pandey, The Rising on this 15th August and made advance arrangements (read, bookings) to this plan.

On D-Day, as I was stuck up in the office campus (a good 15 km away from the main city) the company bus was the only option to travel to the destination. I sat in the 5:25 bus, profusely praying that I could reach in time for the 6:30 show, hoping that God, the company bus, and the scant Sunday traffic of Bangalore (not necesarily in that order) would be kind on me and ensure I was not late. Huh.. talk of wishful thinking...

My mind kept hurriedly pondering on Just-in-Time methods of Toyota Corp.

Murphy's law: No matter how much efforts you waste on JIT, you'll turn up late 97% of the times.
Corollary: Even if you don't do JIT and start well in advance, you will STILL turn up late.

But I am digressing, this was supposed to be my few cents on the hype over Mangal Pandey.

Did I enjoy it? Yes and no.
In fact I actually convinced myself it was a good movie after spending 250 bucks (travel included) on it.

Here goes:

Agreed Aamir is a perfectionist, but lets be realistic, he doesn't really come across as the magnificent screen persona that could do justice to the hype built across the film. His jet-black moustache, long mane and a built up body, do play a part in showing him as the macho Pandey, but he really lacks that height, that voice, to come across as the one man who (arguably) incited the whole nation to the 1st Freedom Struggle!

Hmm, so Aamir falls 'short' of delivering the hype... (pun very much intended!)

As for the others,

• The firang guy Toby Stephens is too good. Loved him!
• Rani showed exuberance, but a confused character.
• And what to say about Ms. Amisha Patel. A quick piece of portrayal - imagine yourself in the best of moods, walking by and you accidently step upon a huge mound of fresh cow-dung - capture the look on your face at that very moment - YES, thats the expression this lady has THROUGHOUT the movie. :-
• Om Puri as the unseen narrator is WORLD CLASS! Now thats what I call a voice that commands immediate respect and admiration.
  

I was disappointed by A R Rehman, but the classy rendetion of Mangal Mangal by Kailash Kher (Allah ke Bande) is a masterpiece! It soothes, it haunts, it heartens, it brings goosebumps….

The story has lots of inconsistencies, but would give it to Ketan Mehta for coming out with a damn good try as this. Its not another Lagaan, cos it was never meant to be one! Though the editing is not slick, the scenes are admittedly well shot, and the look-and -feel of 19th century rural India is excellently depicted.

So what if I left the screen with a funny feeling and a confusion over the abrupt ending, I still was happy having images of 1857 &-the-works in my mind - and the feeling of a 15th August evening well-spent. :-)

The movie-buff in me says its an ok-ish film. The MBA in me says its a huge risk (in spite of huge opening collections) because it might not even allow Mr. Mehta recover his over-ambitious investments (read Rs.40 Cr.)!

Mumbai devasted? Not yet

26 July, 2005
Unprecendented rains play havoc in Mumbai!

Ok, if that doesn't give the shivers, here's some trivia to put the point across:

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Average rainfall in Mumbai - 150 mm
Drainage system in mumbai designed for handling rains upto - 350 mm
Highest rain received at Cherrapunji - around 850 mm
Mumbai that day (26 July) - 944 mm !!!
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Looking at these figures probably gives an idea of the wide-spread havoc this rain could very easily cause... and sadly.... it did.

~Western Express Highway....

That my uncle was stranded on his way home and didn't reach home till 40 hours; that my cousin held up at his friend's place for 2 days... are just few of the mild stories among the numerous horrifying experiences that the city faced.

~A road that became a raging river

~People returning back from their offices



Flashback:

Just a month ago, I started out for hometown Baroda. The whole of Gujarat was under the floods those few days, and hope being alive, I thought I should pass.... but was I wrong... Finally, I had to cut short my pilgrimage and return back to Bangalore after spending a day in Mumbai. Little had I known that this very place would be a victim of a deluge of much larger magnitude!

The weekend that came by, I spent almost whole of my time glued to the idiot box. The only buttons that I kept moving my fingers in my channel-surfing sequence were the news channels.
There was Star News showing me live pictures of Mumbaites fighting it out in the oceans of water; There was Aaj Tak in its usual sensationalizing tones - showing me scenes of the railway stations and angry/sad/weary commuters; There was this young reporter on NDTV reporting live from the airport, telling me what I already knew since night last - that the runway was totally flooded and shut-off.
The most ironical was the report about the phone-lines and mobile services going phut - and right after that I see a commercial of the ubiquitous Hutch pug telling me that where I'd go, their network would follow....

Giving hope a chance, I'd tried calling my cousins on the 26th and 27th, but these calls never got connected...

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Something about Panvel town:
Panvel is the last suburbial town of Mumbai on the harbour line - located in quiet district of Raigadh. I have fond memories of that place having spent good times (albiet only a couple of times) with my Masi's family there. A special treat is being with my tiny cousins Jhalak and Dhristi :-)

Ok, avoiding digression - here's what happened in this sleepy town on the 26th:
My masi lives on the 1st floor and the water had reached to just 3 steps to her door! Imagine the plight of the ground-floor residents, who had no option but abandon everything and rush up to the higher floors. The lights had already conked off across the town by then. The whole town spent 4 days without electricity, drinking water and fresh food - with people hostages in their very homes....

~Panvel town under water

And all this is just second-hand information.... Can't imagine what the guys out there were feeling like...

Just to put things in perspective... Any city in the world would get paralyzed if it gets over 35 inches of rain in a day! But Mumbai fought it out, and would be back and running on its feet sooner than you can imagine... Think of it - Washington gets stranded on its feet and the people stuck in their homes, if it receives more than 4-5 inches of snow. And Gawd, here we are talking about 37 inches of rain! Thats the spirit of Mumbai...

Footnote:

An ode to Mumbai, my city for 2 and a half years

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down....